This is what happens when you don't use your server for a year, and then decide that an update is a good idea. Especially when running Gentoo. And don't think it was a fast one, like 'oh I'll just get this update rolling and grab a cup of coffee with a friend. By the time I'm back from Timmie's it'll be done.' Oh no. This is a 'oh I'll go to sleep, and hopefully it'll be done by morning' update. Except it's even worse, because since it's a Gentoo system, it's a 'maybe I'll move to a cabin up north for the summer, and write a book, and by the time it's published maybe it'll be done' update. 222 updates, all compiled on 6-year-old hardware.
If you need me, I'll be in Kapuskasing, writing.